You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore: Camping out at St. Peters

Ready to go at 2:15 am!

 (2/27) Jack Black's "You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore" mantra was running through my head as I woke up at 2:00am thinking, "am I really going to do this?"  That line was repeated multiple times as a few of us women sauntered down the stares in a sleepy but excited daze.  We were going to do it.  We were going to camp out at St. Peters before our beloved Papa Bene's final public appearance.  The only thing keeping us walking through the unusually quiet streets was our stop at our favorite 24 hour bakery, Dolce Maniera.  The bakery was filled with on-duty Italian cops who had a long day in front of them, so we felt safe wandering in around 2:30am.  The moon was shining as we arrived at our destination over on the side of St. Peter's square by security, as the Little Sister of the Lamb suggested we do.  There were already about 20 people huddled in blankets around the columns.  We hunkered down and devoured our first round of baked goods, giggling and pulling out our blankets.  Although we were warm, the temperature slowly dropped to a chill the longer we sat on the hard cobblestones.  I curled up next to my friend for warmth as my friend Nic sang us a 'not-so-nice' Lullaby and we slowly waited for the crowd to trickle in.  Just before 6am, we were forced to move our camp up closer to the gates as the street became more and more crowded with visitors, some bearing some much-needed coffee.  We didn't know exactly where the gates were going to open 2 hours from now, but we devised a plan to get through the gates and keep our group together.  We formed a diagonal up to the gate, allowing no one to pass through (not even those sneaky little nuns!)  Talking to a couple of other Americans, we teamed together for space and listened as a group of young people started singing "hit the road jack" and songs from other languages to lighten up the crowd.  As the sun lifted, the crowd behind us became more and more packed and it became nearly impossible to move.  Suddenly, the gates beside us opened up unexpectedly, and I had just enough time to grab my backpack which I had set on the ground before I was moved forcefully along, barely touching the ground.  Miraculously, I ended up close up to the next gate entrance, near a few other Bernardians.  This is when things became a little more nerve raking as the more forceful crowd anxiously anticipated the security gates to open.  Wide-eyed volunteers and policemen looked nervous on the other end, not knowing how they were going to possibly control us.  As the gates opened (30 minutes early), I heard a huge roar of shouts as I was forcefully pushed against the guard rail.  I thrust my blanket in front of me to protect my abdonmen from the wood and I pushed as hard as I could against the crowd to enter through the narrow opening.  A lady yelled at me to make space for an elderly woman trying to get through, but there was just no room to move!  Pushing through the security I popped out into miraculous fresh air on the other side.  I was left alone so I briskly moved to scope out those who had made it through before me.  The square opened up into 20,000 seats and one by one, each of us found each other in the front of the second section.  Luckily, our seminarians were ushered to the very front and received front row views of the Vatican stage.  We had made it!  Taking a huge sigh of relief that the last 6 hours had paid off and we had a seat, we slumped down in our chairs and finished off our pastries.

St. Peter's Square

   As the crowd filled into the square, I had the chance to borrow my friend's really nice camera and telescope lens and spent the remaining hours focusing in on individual people in the massive crowd and taking artistic pictures.  This was actually my favorite part of my time in the square because I was able to see--out of this massive crowd of 300,000 people from all over the world; some holding signs, some singing, some smoking, old and young, short and tall--the beauty of the one thing that was bringing all of us here together: to see and support not only a man we have grown to love, but a Church and a God we love even more.  This was truly the World's biggest family.
   10:30 am the crowd ruptured into chants: "Be-ne-detto!" "Viva Papa Bene!"  And then a tremendous roar as the "pope mobile" rolled out of the side and started heading around the aisles.  I screamed with the crowd and stood on my chair as the Pope drove by.  Through the lens of my camera and the waving flags in front of me, I was able to catch the sheer and crisp witness of the Pope's garment, and the sophisticated yet gracefulness poise he had, hiding the hind of exhaustion present within the bend of his shoulders.  His arm remained raised and extended toward the crowd as he passed, and his face was fixed into a gentle smile.  As he passed, a couple of children were handed to him as he kissed them tenderly on the forehead like a father.  He processed around the square and finally up to the front of the stage to begin his speech.  The roaring crowd suddenly switched gears and became silent and sitting.  It was so quiet I forgot that I was surrounded by 300,00 or more people.  With eager enthusiasm we listened to him speak.  Benedict was thankful and lets the crowd know in Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, English, German and French. (I have to admit, in the warm sun and on 3 hours of sleep, I found myself dozing as he spoke in the other languages.  But it was only because I felt perfectly content! ;) )  As one from the camera crew following us described, "His words were scratchy and weak, but heartfelt and meaningful."  You can and should read the translation of what he said, here: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57571558/pope-benedict-xvis-words-to-last-general-audience/

Waving at us as he passed by!

   As we waved goodbye, we sat in the square a few minutes longer to soak in the graces we all just experienced.  Some of us weaved our way out of the crowd to go back to Bernardi and catch up on some sleep.  I was eager to follow, figuring I could sacrifice going to my Italian class that afternoon, but I ran into some fellow classmates and was reluctant to say no to going to class.  So I gathered up what little energy I had left and headed off 45 minutes to the Angelicum.  We had just enough time to take a delightful 20 minute nap under the sun in the garden before class.  Trying to stay awake was very difficult and Italian seemed meaningless after seeing the Pope!  But I had to remind myself that my first and primary vocation is to be a student. After class we headed back to Bernardi to get ready for a long community night.
   Unfortunately, there was no room to look like a slob since the camera crew was going to be filming adoration, mass, and dinner tonight.  So I tried to muster looking awake in the warm chapel as we prayed together.  During our discussion before dinner, we were able to go around and speak about our favorite memories/quotes of our beloved Pope.  It was so inspiring to hear the negative reaction many held when he was selected as successor to the beloved Pope John Paul II, and how many were disappointed with his selection.  Then to hear how he led many of our seminarians along their journey to discernment and how his words spoke to each of us in times of trouble, giving us hope. We described what it felt like when we heard he was resigning just a day after we had seen him in the square, and the tremendous grace it is to be here at the selection of the new Pontiff, as well as the responsibility we each have now to be a witness to the truth for people back home. He is definitely going to be very missed.
   Also during the discussion, we had so much fun discovering an amazing analogy between the Papacy and Lord of the Rings:

   Apparantly, before Pope Benedict was Pope and he was Cardinal Ratzinger, Fr. Carolla was in Rome with Bernardi students.  He was able to talk to Cardinal Ratzinger after Mass one day, and mentioned that he felt like he had been born in the wrong time.  Ratzinger looked at him and said, "You were born exactly when you were meant to be born, to serve in this time."  Later that semester, Fr. Carolla was watching Lord of the Rings and came upon the scene where Gandalf says this exact thing to Frodo.  Hearing this, he thought that it was fitting that Cardinal Ratzinger (Gandalf the Grey), now clothed in white as Pope Benedict, became Gandalf the White, and Fr. Carolla was Frodo.  Better yet, Fr. Carolla wears a ring around his neck (which is his grandmothers).  Even more perfect, in the end of His journey in Lord of the Rings, Gandalf the white doesn't die, but sails off into the distance on a ship.  Similarly, Pope Benedict, very fittingly, steps down from his role as Pontiff and flies away on a helicopter to the island of Castle Gandolfo (Gandalf-o...get it?).  Isn't that nice?  Oh, and Fr. Justin is definitely Samwise Gamgee.  Now who is gollum....?
   After dinner we celebrated Catherine's birthday (what a wonderful day to have a birthday!)  And headed off to a now beautifully looking bed.