This little light of mine

Taken from the media

(2/28)  My roommate and I have decided to make Thursdays our "explore Rome" Thursdays.  Since we have class all day during the week and we travel on weekends, we decided that after our 1 morning class on Thursdays we'd pick a site and run with it.  We decided to check out the Pantheon and find the highly recommended by past Bernardians "Da Francescas" trattoria to eat lunch.  We felt adventurous and confident that we could find it without using a map.  We were wrong.  After getting turned around multiple times, we caved in and bought a handy picture map.  After getting lost a few times even with the map, we managed to find it.  I have to say I wasn't too impressed.  Yes, I am glad I saw it and I enjoyed some of the history behind it, but after seeing so many incredible churches, this seemed like a loud, touristy place to be.  After looking around it, we decided to head off and find the restaraunt.  We were content with wandering around for a little while, until hunger hit us like a brick to the stomach and we felt desperate enough to give up our search and climb into a little no-name side street trattoria.  It turned out to be the best decision ever!  We were able to sit outside on cute checkerboard tables and received actual soft bread for the first time.  What excited me the most was a whole menu of Salads!  My stomach needed a break from all the pasta and pizza and me being a daily salad eater back home, was craving fresh veggies.  I don't know if it was because I was so hungry or because my body really needed some R&R from carbs, but I spent the rest of the morning raving about how good the salad was: Fresh spinach, warm eggs and bacon, fresh mozzarella, fresh-picked vegetables, and savory olive oil and vinegar dressing.  Fully satisfied, we stopped for groceries on our way back.
   We held a make-up class for Dr. Rota in the basement of our house, but took a break at 5:00pm to head up to the top of our terrace where we could hear the bells ringing as the Pope left.  We were delightfully surprised when, at 5:05, distant bells from the Vatican rung and we saw a helicopter hovering over the dome shortly in the distance.  "Is that him?"  We all wondered.  Suddenly, in the clear pink sky, we saw a larger white helicopter rise from the dome underneath the smaller helicopter and start to fly in our direction.  Some in our group were skeptical as to if it were the Pope since he was scheduled to leave 10 minutes later, but I knew in my heart that it was him (and we found out later it was).  We waved eagerly, jumping up and down as the helicopter flew past us and towards the colosseum, circling around Rome before landing at the place where he would stay forever away from the public eye: In Castle Gandolfo.  That was it.  That was our last goodbye to the Pope himself!

Media shot, Praying in the square

   We headed downstairs for a quick bite to eat before heading off to St. Peters to pray during his official final hour of his Papacy.  When we arrived at the square, there were the normal buzzing of people.  We gathered as a group along with our Chaplaincy and began to pray evening prayer.  Fr. Carolla read us the English translation of the beautiful message he had spoken to us at the audience the day before.  The line that stuck out to me most was this: "In our heart, in the heart of each of you, let there be always the joyous certainty that the Lord is near, that He does not abandon us, that He is near to us and that He surrounds us with His love."  As well as his reminder that he did not step off the cross, but continues to carry it as he continues his life of prayer and service for the Church in a different way.  We then began to light candles and pray the Rosary in the square.  Pilgrims began to gather around us. Some joined in, others watched in prayer, and others took pictures.  Looking around at the candle lit faces I saw tears, both of sadness at the loss and of joy at the new priest to come, the peace and trust of the holy spirit, and the love of every person surrounding me towards the church and each other.  Our voices lifted into the "Salve Regina" as others around us chimed in.  I remained on my knees in prayer as the clock struck 8 and the bells slowly rang and echoed across the city, signaling the sign that we no longer had a pope.  I could feel the presence of the media with their cameras surrounding me, taking pictures of me as I prayed, and I tried my best not to be distracted.  Finally, an God-send came to my rescue.  As I remained kneeling with my eyes closed, I could hear a stranger firmly whisper next to me, "Leave her alone.  Can't you see she's trying to pray?  Please, give her her space.  She is praying."  I was filled with emotion, both with embarrassment that my prayer was being filmed by the media (not because I was ashamed, but because I felt that my private moment with God was going to be twisted not into a moment of joy, but reflected out as a moment of sadness that I was somehow "abandoned by the pope"), and with graciousness that a stranger, who was really a part of my universal Catholic family, felt that my prayer should be protected.  I took a walk around the square with my burning candle and soaked in the various people in prayer, in chatter, in song and in silence.  All of us girls decided we wanted to go out and "celebrate" his Papacy and Catherine's 21st birthday, but as soon as we exited a lady from some media station thrust a microphone into Emily and my face.  She asked Emily why she felt it was important to come here tonight, and she asked me probably the only other question the media knows how to ask about the Pope resigning: "Do you think the Pope's stepping down has anything to do with all of the Church's scandals?"  I withheld an eye roll and gave an uber-catholic response that will probably never make the story.  Something about him being a man of prayer and realizing what the Church needs, his act of humility in stepping down, the Holy Spirit picking exactly what the church needs for these times, etc.

The Abbey Theater

  We carried on past the signs with the Pope's face that read, "resterai sempre con noi, Grazie (You will remain with us always, thank you" and over to the Irish Pub: the Abbey Theater.  All 14 of us grabbed a table in the back and chatted with our Irish waiter who had a crude but playful sense of humor.  We ordered drinks and devoured 2 plates of Nachos and chicken fingers, laughing and being loud American girls the whole night.  We stumbled home right before the gates closed and went to bed after an emotionally exhausting evening.

You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore: Camping out at St. Peters

Ready to go at 2:15 am!

 (2/27) Jack Black's "You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore" mantra was running through my head as I woke up at 2:00am thinking, "am I really going to do this?"  That line was repeated multiple times as a few of us women sauntered down the stares in a sleepy but excited daze.  We were going to do it.  We were going to camp out at St. Peters before our beloved Papa Bene's final public appearance.  The only thing keeping us walking through the unusually quiet streets was our stop at our favorite 24 hour bakery, Dolce Maniera.  The bakery was filled with on-duty Italian cops who had a long day in front of them, so we felt safe wandering in around 2:30am.  The moon was shining as we arrived at our destination over on the side of St. Peter's square by security, as the Little Sister of the Lamb suggested we do.  There were already about 20 people huddled in blankets around the columns.  We hunkered down and devoured our first round of baked goods, giggling and pulling out our blankets.  Although we were warm, the temperature slowly dropped to a chill the longer we sat on the hard cobblestones.  I curled up next to my friend for warmth as my friend Nic sang us a 'not-so-nice' Lullaby and we slowly waited for the crowd to trickle in.  Just before 6am, we were forced to move our camp up closer to the gates as the street became more and more crowded with visitors, some bearing some much-needed coffee.  We didn't know exactly where the gates were going to open 2 hours from now, but we devised a plan to get through the gates and keep our group together.  We formed a diagonal up to the gate, allowing no one to pass through (not even those sneaky little nuns!)  Talking to a couple of other Americans, we teamed together for space and listened as a group of young people started singing "hit the road jack" and songs from other languages to lighten up the crowd.  As the sun lifted, the crowd behind us became more and more packed and it became nearly impossible to move.  Suddenly, the gates beside us opened up unexpectedly, and I had just enough time to grab my backpack which I had set on the ground before I was moved forcefully along, barely touching the ground.  Miraculously, I ended up close up to the next gate entrance, near a few other Bernardians.  This is when things became a little more nerve raking as the more forceful crowd anxiously anticipated the security gates to open.  Wide-eyed volunteers and policemen looked nervous on the other end, not knowing how they were going to possibly control us.  As the gates opened (30 minutes early), I heard a huge roar of shouts as I was forcefully pushed against the guard rail.  I thrust my blanket in front of me to protect my abdonmen from the wood and I pushed as hard as I could against the crowd to enter through the narrow opening.  A lady yelled at me to make space for an elderly woman trying to get through, but there was just no room to move!  Pushing through the security I popped out into miraculous fresh air on the other side.  I was left alone so I briskly moved to scope out those who had made it through before me.  The square opened up into 20,000 seats and one by one, each of us found each other in the front of the second section.  Luckily, our seminarians were ushered to the very front and received front row views of the Vatican stage.  We had made it!  Taking a huge sigh of relief that the last 6 hours had paid off and we had a seat, we slumped down in our chairs and finished off our pastries.

St. Peter's Square

   As the crowd filled into the square, I had the chance to borrow my friend's really nice camera and telescope lens and spent the remaining hours focusing in on individual people in the massive crowd and taking artistic pictures.  This was actually my favorite part of my time in the square because I was able to see--out of this massive crowd of 300,000 people from all over the world; some holding signs, some singing, some smoking, old and young, short and tall--the beauty of the one thing that was bringing all of us here together: to see and support not only a man we have grown to love, but a Church and a God we love even more.  This was truly the World's biggest family.
   10:30 am the crowd ruptured into chants: "Be-ne-detto!" "Viva Papa Bene!"  And then a tremendous roar as the "pope mobile" rolled out of the side and started heading around the aisles.  I screamed with the crowd and stood on my chair as the Pope drove by.  Through the lens of my camera and the waving flags in front of me, I was able to catch the sheer and crisp witness of the Pope's garment, and the sophisticated yet gracefulness poise he had, hiding the hind of exhaustion present within the bend of his shoulders.  His arm remained raised and extended toward the crowd as he passed, and his face was fixed into a gentle smile.  As he passed, a couple of children were handed to him as he kissed them tenderly on the forehead like a father.  He processed around the square and finally up to the front of the stage to begin his speech.  The roaring crowd suddenly switched gears and became silent and sitting.  It was so quiet I forgot that I was surrounded by 300,00 or more people.  With eager enthusiasm we listened to him speak.  Benedict was thankful and lets the crowd know in Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, English, German and French. (I have to admit, in the warm sun and on 3 hours of sleep, I found myself dozing as he spoke in the other languages.  But it was only because I felt perfectly content! ;) )  As one from the camera crew following us described, "His words were scratchy and weak, but heartfelt and meaningful."  You can and should read the translation of what he said, here: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57571558/pope-benedict-xvis-words-to-last-general-audience/

Waving at us as he passed by!

   As we waved goodbye, we sat in the square a few minutes longer to soak in the graces we all just experienced.  Some of us weaved our way out of the crowd to go back to Bernardi and catch up on some sleep.  I was eager to follow, figuring I could sacrifice going to my Italian class that afternoon, but I ran into some fellow classmates and was reluctant to say no to going to class.  So I gathered up what little energy I had left and headed off 45 minutes to the Angelicum.  We had just enough time to take a delightful 20 minute nap under the sun in the garden before class.  Trying to stay awake was very difficult and Italian seemed meaningless after seeing the Pope!  But I had to remind myself that my first and primary vocation is to be a student. After class we headed back to Bernardi to get ready for a long community night.
   Unfortunately, there was no room to look like a slob since the camera crew was going to be filming adoration, mass, and dinner tonight.  So I tried to muster looking awake in the warm chapel as we prayed together.  During our discussion before dinner, we were able to go around and speak about our favorite memories/quotes of our beloved Pope.  It was so inspiring to hear the negative reaction many held when he was selected as successor to the beloved Pope John Paul II, and how many were disappointed with his selection.  Then to hear how he led many of our seminarians along their journey to discernment and how his words spoke to each of us in times of trouble, giving us hope. We described what it felt like when we heard he was resigning just a day after we had seen him in the square, and the tremendous grace it is to be here at the selection of the new Pontiff, as well as the responsibility we each have now to be a witness to the truth for people back home. He is definitely going to be very missed.
   Also during the discussion, we had so much fun discovering an amazing analogy between the Papacy and Lord of the Rings:

   Apparantly, before Pope Benedict was Pope and he was Cardinal Ratzinger, Fr. Carolla was in Rome with Bernardi students.  He was able to talk to Cardinal Ratzinger after Mass one day, and mentioned that he felt like he had been born in the wrong time.  Ratzinger looked at him and said, "You were born exactly when you were meant to be born, to serve in this time."  Later that semester, Fr. Carolla was watching Lord of the Rings and came upon the scene where Gandalf says this exact thing to Frodo.  Hearing this, he thought that it was fitting that Cardinal Ratzinger (Gandalf the Grey), now clothed in white as Pope Benedict, became Gandalf the White, and Fr. Carolla was Frodo.  Better yet, Fr. Carolla wears a ring around his neck (which is his grandmothers).  Even more perfect, in the end of His journey in Lord of the Rings, Gandalf the white doesn't die, but sails off into the distance on a ship.  Similarly, Pope Benedict, very fittingly, steps down from his role as Pontiff and flies away on a helicopter to the island of Castle Gandolfo (Gandalf-o...get it?).  Isn't that nice?  Oh, and Fr. Justin is definitely Samwise Gamgee.  Now who is gollum....?
   After dinner we celebrated Catherine's birthday (what a wonderful day to have a birthday!)  And headed off to a now beautifully looking bed.

Lights, Camera, Action!

The Pieta in the Vatican

(2/25) 5:45 bright and early wakeup!  Today we were heading to the daily station church, San Clemente to celebrate mass with Fr. Carolla who was concelebrating. (Station Churches are daily masses that are offered every morning during Lent all around Rome.  It's a great way to see the different churches of Rome, and as a lenten sacrifice--each one is about 45min-hour walk away and they all begin at 7am).  Even though it was cold and raining/thundering the whole hour walk there, there was a beauty about all 34 of us trudging through the quiet streets of Rome to go to mass.  Father wanted us to put together a "Bernardi Choir" and sing at the mass.  Well, we had about 2 practices and still had no idea exactly what we were singing, but we trusted the Lord and decided that as long as we were giving praise to him, all would be well.  The church was stone but had a beautiful atmosphere.  The Holy Spirit came through because we received positive feedback about the singing, hooray!  After mass we gathered and chatted about how we hadn't studied for the test we were about to have later that morning....right as our professor Dr. Lev strutted past behind us...woops!  Feeling guilty we walked to the Ang and hit the books.  We were being tested on the catacombs, the Scavi tour and the construction of churches.  Interesting, but alot of info!  After a couple of hours we got the wonderful notification that the test was cancelled because the camera crew needed to film our class at St. Peters.  This film crew has been following us around all week: To our classes, our rooms, dinner, day trips, walks, etc. to show a "day in the life of a Bernardi student" to commemorate the 20th Anniversary of the Catholic Studies program video next fall.  We excitedly boarded the bus to St. Peters where Dr. Lev was going to give us a tour.  Unfortunately, a few of the students fell prey to scammers.  A few men dressed as policemen boarded the bus and demanded to see their tickets.  The crowded bus had made it impossible for the students to scan their tickets, and the "policemen" instead of believing them and their ticket, fined them right there on the spot.  The fact that the men didn't give them a receipt was a clear sign (unclear to us) that they were not real policemen.  It was a big disappointment that they got taken advantage of, but we are now more aware.
    Dr. Lev's tour of St. Peters was absolutely incredible!  She explained the history and spiritual/theological motivation behind the main pieces of art in the Vatican, including the famous Pieta and the Altar Canopy.  It gave me such a greater appreciation of the incredible spiritual motivations behind each of these works, and the incredible creative and visual capacity the artists had in being able to capture these mysteries in a work of art. After the tour I was exhausted and hungry.  We headed back 45 minute to the Ang for the remainder of our long day of classes.  I met up with my new friend, Sister Rosi, before my "God and the Poets" class at 5:30.  I had met her a week before in the garden of the Ang.  She sat down next to me and made sure I had enough to eat (which she still continues to do).  sister Rosi is from India and is here studying for her final year of spirituality under the order of St. Anne's.  She speaks little English but she calls me her friend and wants to write to me.  I consider her my dear friend as well.  She knows all of the good orange and lemon trees in the garden and she makes the seminarians climb up the trees and pick the ripe ones for her.  She is soft-spoken and smiles all of the time.  You can feel the peace with which she lives her live and the joy and playfulness with which she gives.  I brought her Peanut Butter because there is none in Italy for her to try, and she gave me crackers (aka, perfect Nutella dippers!)
   Before heading back to Bernardi at 7:30pm, my small group of girls from formation went out to dinner at L'Anchettos and devoured their hot spaghetti and discussed the topic for the week: Our temperaments and love languages.  On the way home I bought a watch since mine broke, attended night prayer, and went to bed after the long day!

Assisi

Walking to San Damiano Church

(2/24) Fr. Carolla (Our Chaplain) planned a weekend to take all the Seminarians from our group to Assisi.  Us women and and a few lay guys thought it would also be a good weekend to go.  We were going to try to stay out of their way, but aboard the 7:58am train, Fr. Carolla invited us to spend the morning with them.  When we got off the train we met up with them and walked over to the "Santa Maria Degli Angeli"--a basilica marking the spot where Francis lived, worked, and died.  The grandiose church is built around the original small chapel where he prayed, the hermitage where he worked, and houses the place where he died.  We caught a bus up to the top of the hill where the town of Assisi actually is, and walked down a long steep but scenic slope to the church of San Damiano--The church and convent where Francis received his vocational call and where St. Calre spent her days as mother and superior of the Poor Clares.  It is a peaceful place and we were fortunate to be able to celebrate Mass there, led by Fr. Carolla.  After mass we stopped right outside the chapel to the spot where St. Francis looked out at the landscape and wrote his famous message, "The Canticle of the Sun."  Even though it was lent, we found it very fitting to sing "All Creatures of our God and King" based off of the Canticle at that very spot.  It was raining and cold but we huddled under our umbrellas and sang with all the warmth we could muster.  Assisi is a place where it is very easy to picture living in during st. Francis's time...looking out at the same beautiful scenery, walking along the same steep slopes, and walking past the same old buildings.  it is definitely a place of serenity.  Unfortunately, the fog kept us from seeing very much of the landscape, but it was still beautiful and I'd love to come back when it is sunny.

Relics of S. Francis and Clare

   After mass, we hiked up the loooong steep hill (every street in this town you're either walking straight up or straight down) to a place for lunch.  I decided to order something other than pasta, and realized that was not a very good choice:  Cold/greasy omelet, shredded plain carrots, and cold fries did not really meet my expectations, but I was happy just to be someplace warm and out of the rain.  After lunch we stopped in the "Cathedral of San Rufino" where St. Francis and St. Clare were baptized.  The  cathedral is a 11th century Romaneque facade with a Neoclassical interior, and holds bits of the original medieval architecture in the floors.  Next, we trekked down to the "Basilica di Santa chiara", Basilica of St. Clare.  There is a chapel inside that houses the original Crucifix of San Damiano, where in 1206, a soul-searching Francis knelt before and asked for guidance.  The crucifix spoke: "Go and rebuild my Church, which you can see has fallen into ruin."  Francis therefore followed the call and physically rebuilt the church of San Damiano, later rebuilding the church as a whole and saving it altogether.  Held in the basement is the tomb of St. Clare.  Paintings on the walls depict spiritual lessons from Clare's life and death.  On the opposite wall lie important relics: The saint's robes, blonde hair in a silver box, and enormous handmade tunic, Francis' blood-stained stocking he wore after he received the stigmata, and more.  It was incredible to see each of these relics that were such a part of these saints simple life right in front of me!

(illegal) pic of Francis' Tomb

   After spending some time here we split up from the seminarians and went to one of the artistic and religious highlights of Europe: "The Basilica di San Francesco", The Basilica of St. Francis.  This Basilica is massive, holding both the tomb of St. Francis in the basement, a lower level basilica, and an upper level basilica.   It is frescoed from top to bottom with scenes by the leading artists of the day: Cimabue, Giotto, Lorenzetti and more.  In the tomb, the saint's remains are above the altar in a stone box with iron ties, surrounded by the tombs of Francis' four closest friends and followers.  My favorite part was picking up a candle, making a prayer intention, and placing it on the altar where it will be burned throughout the year at the intercession of St. Francis.  The lower basilica is frescoed with parallel scenes from the lives of Christ and Francis, connected by a ceiling of stars, and littered with side chapels.  The 3 scenes above the tomb of St. Francis represent the creed of the Franciscans: Obedience, Chastity and Poverty. The upper basilica (the first Gothic church in Italy, 1228) brought you into another massive room covered in Frescoes of St. Francis' life.  They are so large that you have to walk slowly along the perimeter in order to take it all in.  Even though the church is massive, the pulpit can be seen and heard from every spot in the church, following the spirit of the Franciscan order which was to preach.  I climbed up a few more stairs to see once more the Assisi landscape stretched before me as it became dark.

Basilica of St. Francis

   Our group split up as a few of us decided it was too cold and we were too wet to stay for dinner.  Instead we headed back to the bus which took us to the train and we basked in the stuffy but warm atmosphere of the train.  After experiencing the worst bathroom experience ever on the train, we heard "Rome Termini" over the intercom and prepared to get off.  Me and Katie followed the german teens we sat by off the train when it stopped, but the other girls remained on, hesitant because it didn't look like the right stop.  Knowing the trains usually only stop for a couple of minutes I stood on the platform and looked at the glowing "Rome Termini" sign in front of me.  The German guy overheard our confusion and immediately stomped is foot down in runners pose, waved his hand in the air and yelled in broken English, "NEXT STOP NEXT STOP!!"  As if in slow motion, the doors to the train shut and started moving forward.  I saw the next few hours of sitting alone in a train station at night having no idea where I was flash before me.  Suddenly I hear an obscenity being screamed, one of our group members force the train door open, and my legs numbly running next to the train and jumping into the doors (which now sounded an alarm since we clearly forced it open)!  Adrenaline and hysterical laughter from the Germans outside could barely get passed my frantically pumping heart and how close a call that was!  What an experience!  I've now had to chase after trains twice since I've been here.

Singing in the rain

   Arriving back, we finally had dinner at 10 pm and crashed into bed, happy to be warm and dry and not spending the night at the wrong stop at a train station.

A day in ORVIETO

Cliffs of Orvieto

(Saturday, 2/16) The few days I have not been blogging have been filled with rest and homework, trying to get over this never-ending cold which seems to persist because of the weather and constant activities.  But for a day, I was going to pack in the DayQuil and not let anything stop me from enjoying our first travel experience away from Rome!

Trattoria Del Moro Aronne

Our Grassy Knoll Nap

   Travel alone was an adventure.  Imagine a group of Americans carrying backpacks, realizing they're on the wrong end of the Termini, and sprinting across the tracks, only to be stopped by an unhappy Janitor because supposedly, we are supposed to take the stairs underground to get to the other side!  So while half of us sprinted across the tracks to make the train, the other half of us sprinted down the stairs and up and across the termini, with our bouncing backpacks trailing behind.  We made it thank goodness!  And we spent the rest of the train ride making faces as our ears popped every time we went in a darkened tunnel through a hill in the Italian landscape.  When we arrived in Orvieto, we had to take a cable car to the top of the hill where the town was located.  It was magnificant!  The quant little town was surrounded by cliffs that overlooked vast green landscape of farms and castle ruins.  After taking very "avant garde" pictures on the cliffs, we hiked into town.  Orvieto was exactly as I pictured an Italian town to look: Old and quaint buildings with flowered terraces lining narrow cobble-stone streets, fresh produce markets, old couples drinking caffe, children running around (which is nice to see since there are few in Rome), dogs, cats, and a very neighborly feel.  We walked into the central plaza "Piazza Del Popolo" where a fresh farmers market was taking place.  We talked to some Dominican sisters in the square who had been sisters for 50 years!  They could immediately tell we were American because of how tall we were.  After we grabbed some fresh fruit and nuts, we headed to a local family-run restaurant our pal Rick Steve suggested.  We peeked through some curtains which led into the kitchen, only to be told that we had an hour until it opened.  So we walked down the block to the Duomo, the great medieval basilica in the center of the town.  It was huge and very ornate, and the sides of it were decorated in a zebra-striped pattern.  Instead of paying to go inside and tour, we entered into the side door to go pray in the chapel where the Eucharistic miricale of Bolsena was performed:
     In 1263, a priest named Peter of Prague had doubts that the bread used in Communion could really be transformed into the body of Christ.  But during Mass, as he held the host aloft and blessed it, the bread began to bleed, running down his arms and dripping onto a linen cloth (a "corporeal") on the altar.  The bloody cloth is placed above the altar in the chapel where we prayed.  Pope Urban IV was amazed and proclamed a new holiday, "Corpus Christi" (Body of Christ) and the Orvieto cathedral was built to display this miraculous relic.
   It was time to head over to what would be the most amazing meal we've had thus far.  "Trattoria del Moro Aronne" is on a little side street and is run by Christian and his mother, Rolanda.  We ordered fresh Orvieto wine, Bruschetta with flavorful chicken liver, and nidi--folds of fresh pasta envelopeing warm, gooey Pecorino cheese sweetened with honey--finishing off with hot creme brulee....is your mouth watering yet?  We were so satisfied that we debated coming back for dinner, and any doubts about Rick Steves melted away and we trusted him as our new alli.  After lunch we took a stroll down the "Rupe" path which encircles the cliffs overlooking a beautiful green Italian landscape.  We happened across a playground and hopscotch and let ourselves be kids for a little while.  As the food and wine sank in our bellies we found a grassy knoll over the cliff and plopped down for a nap in the sun.  Although this spot seemed to be "romance central" for Italian couples, our brisk American manner scared them off and we had the whole park to ourselves.  This was the best 20 minutes of relaxation I've ever experienced.  Eventually we moved camp and continued walking, only to find we were back at the train station.  This city was smaller than expected!  So we did about the only thing there is to do in Orvieto (unless you're an archeologist and love to see the bottom of wells), we looked for more food.  We took a long 2 hour coffee break in this delightful shop with newspaper clippings lining the walls.  I remembered that I had left my camelbak water bottle in the restaraunt so I walked back to the place only to find it was closed.  Peeking my head through the curtain I waved Christian over and tried to explain to him that my water bottle was missing.  Thinking I wanted water as if I were ordering from the table he joyfully said, "Aqua? Naturale O Frizzante?"  Thankfully, a couple behind us translated but he sadly said that they threw it away.  Feeling bad, he handed me what looked like a wine bottle filled with water.  My new water bottle became a wine bottle....it was quite hilarious!

Orveito

  We grabbed some cheese, bread, and wine and headed for the train.  We met two girls who spoke english, Lauren and Katie.  They were from Tempus University and were studying Art History near the Vatican.  Their tip to us about Rome was to visit the 24 hour bakery near St. Peter's.  They told us there were 30 cent "Bombas" (donuts filled with nutella)...we were sold to go that night!
   The train came and we boarded, but a few of us were hesitant about if it was the right train.  But the guy who checked my ticket didn't say anything so we took a seat and began our picnic.  30 Minutes later a woman and police officer knock on our door and ask to see our tickets.  Handing her mine, she mutters a few words to the Policeman and proceeds to tell us that we are on the wrong train.  Apparantly, the "fast train (the one you pay double to be on)" was 20 minutes late and came at the time ours was supposed to arrive.  Instead of fining us an obscene amount of money, she let us off with a warning.  What a nice lady!  We offered her wine, but she was on the job.
   From the train to the metro, we stopped at the bakery and grabbed our warm Bombas, ecstatic that we found our new favorite place in Rome.  Stuffed and ready for bed, we decided to walk back instead of take the train.  We had completed our first travel outside the city, and we were tremendously grateful to have had such a marvelous day.

The Pope's Final Mass

Crowd in St. Peter's before the Altar

(Ash Wednesday, 2/13) Today was a complete fiasco!  Not only was it Ash Wednesday, but it was the day the Pope was going to celebrate his final public mass, at the same time as our class and our formation.  Although we got our formation rescheduled, it was a little more difficult avoiding class.  We didn't want our teacher to show up to an empty classroom, but we also didn't want to miss the Pope.  Since we hadn't heard a response from her yet about rescheduling, I stayed back to problem-solve and the group went over to save spots in line outside St. Peters.  The computer lab was locked, the library unavailable, I tried calling our program director, his assistant, the receptionist, the other Italian teacher, the office directory at the Ang, and even tried texting her....all to no avail.  We sat on the cobblestones almost defeated, when we decided to try calling her one more time from Taylor's emergency cell.  She picked up!  First Challenge: Accomplished.  Next Challenge:  Oh.  She doesn't speak ANY English.  Without the help of body language, this made it very difficult/entertaining for me (who only knows about 3 words in Italian) to explain to her the situation.  I decided Spanish was close enough, if I just took the "O" off the end and put "Te"....but that didn't work.  So I decided to keep it simple.  "Papa Bene. uhhh Final Mesa......NO CLASE."  "Si!" She responded.  And we were off to St. Peters to join the group!

 The line was super long.  It wound all the way around the huge square and past St. Peters itself!  We got coached on Italian line etiquette the night before (aka, there is none) and so we were patiently prepared.  Fortunately, we were towards the front of the line since the group had arrived around 1pm.  The crowd rushed in as security opened at 3:30 for the 5:30 liturgy.  We got a spot about 30 rows back on the right side of the Altar.  We were lucky to even get in.  The room was packed with media reporters and pilgrims from all around the world, buzzing with excitement.  The pope glided in on his little "mobile" and climbed the Altar (where the canopy alone is 7 stories high)!  He looked very tired (as I can imagine with all the Pope's duties!) but as always, full of peace.  During the procession and the mass, I soaked it all in, knowing I only had a few precious moments in this momentous occasion.  The part of the mass that struck me the most was during the distribution of the ashes, when a bishop placed ashes on the Pope's forhead and recited, "You have come from dust and to dust you shall return."  Seeing this incredibly holy man, who was chosen to lead the church and who has shown such great faith and humility these past few days get reminded he will still return unto dust, hit my heart with force.  If the Pope of the universal church is dust, what then am I?  My gaze and attention was then lifted to where it should be for the remainder of the mass...on the magnificent and loving mercy of God.  And as the pope rode out of the square, and the longest applause I've ever experienced died down, I was filled with peace, acceptance and excitement for the start of a new age: The age of the New Evangelization led by a new shepherd!

Goodbye Papa Bene!

"Pope Benedict the XVI announces he will resign on February 28th" Mike read aloud from his computer in between classes at the Angelicum.  First, with hesitancy, as if it were a joke, then with shock as we each frantically rushed to our own computers to check to see if it was real.  A long silence and a few gasps followed as site after site on our screen repeated the same message: "Pope gives 2 week notice" and "A Statement Rocks Rome."  A couple weeks before--when we were all living in our cozy homes America, reading great works such as "God is Love" and picturing a distant figure in white, holy but perhaps distant--This news may have not struck a chord as deep.  But considering just the day before we had seen him waving out of his window, and heard him speak with great fervor only the week before, we had fallen even more in love with this holy and humble figure.  There were a mix of emotions in the room as our class filed into the computer lab.  The only thing we could think to do was pray before heading to our next class, very distracted.  The "winds of change" became more than a saying while sitting through Italian.  The room rocked, the shutters flapped, and the door shook as heavy winds suddenly brought about an eerie nuance.  Our teacher would stop speaking for a moment as huge drifts of cold wind startled us into silence.  The feeling of unsettledness grew as my friend and I searched for a church after class to find a quiet place to pray.  Outside the sky was grey and the wind still blew.  It almost seemed odd to see people bustling around as if nothing had happened.  A lady was screaming at the police and political signs were painted with unsightly graffiti.  After finding numerous churches closed, we finally came across one near the Trevi Fountain.  It was so nice to take a deep breath and lift the swirl of thoughts up to the Lord.  I was reminded of something we were taught in formation only days before: Picture yourself holding a handful of M&Ms.  Suddenly, someone offers you a handful of beautiful Pearls.  Of course you desire the pearls, but in order to receive them, you must drop your M&Ms.  Although you are about to receive something wonderful, the brief moment of your hands being empty is scary and unsettling.  I feel like at this moment, I had empty hands.  A sense of sadness and abandonment and confusion initially sprung up and I had so many questions: He pronounced this the year of Faith, why is he leaving? I though he looked healthy when I saw him?  Why is he giving us such short notice?  And then I realized how great an act of Faith his resignation really is.  How much humility does it take to realize that you are not physically or mentally strong enough to be what the church needs at this moment in time?  How great a testament to humility it is to be aware of all the accusations and fallacies he will be under about leaving, and still listen to the still, small voice inside of him telling him his service is complete?  How great an act of humility it is to step down and allow the Lord to select another great servant to lead his people?  "Forgive me, I do not have the Strength", the front cover headline read in the daily newspaper that day.  Forgive US Lord, for we do not understand, and we must trust in you.  We are waiting in anticipation for the next Pope, chosen by the Holy Spirit, to rise up and lead the Church through the New Evangelization, and we will stand with him in every way.

Santo Spirito

Pope leading the Angelus Prayer

Crowd Praying the Angelus

(Sunday 2/10) Sunday morning we all walked to a church called "Santo Spirito" over by the Vatican.  We were all anxious to finally be attending an English Mass where we could fully participate!  In fact, a few of us served in mass and we plan on being very involved in the coming months.  The priest there is very joyful and enthusiastic and all about the New Evangelization!  The sisters there were from St. Faustina's order and welcomed us graciously.  Afterwards, we walked to Vatican Square to pray the Angelus with Papa Bene.  As everyone gathered in the square, we met a nice guy who was studying in Barcelona.  Regardless of his different faith background, he was thrilled once the Pope appeared in his window and anxiously yelled, "I love you Papa!"  It was so uplifting to see people from everywhere shouting for joy and a man who fills us with hope for the Church.  Little did we know that this was the last time we'd see the Pope before the big news hit us the next day...

BEST DAY EVER

Friday (2/8)
Just when I think Rome can't get any more exciting, it does!

Excited for the Scavi Tour!

Slanted stairs up to Vatican Dome

Rome and Vatican City

This morning we met at St. Peters to get an exclusive Scavi tour of the bottom of the Vatican.  While waiting through security, we talked and made friends with the Swiss guards.  Our guide took us down underground where the original rooms of the City were once above ground.  She talked to us all about the history and usage of each of the rooms and showed us amazing frescos.  Then she took us to the climax of the tour: Peters grave marked by a lamp you peer at through a hole in the stone wall.  Following this, she took us to the place where the altar would be, and there showed us the actual bone remains of Peter, found on the altar just a short distance from where he was crucified upside down in St. Peter's square.  What more evidence is there of Peter being the rock of the Church?  Afterwards, our tour guide left us and we walked around the amazingly beautiful basement of the Vatican where there  is a hallway where all the popes are buried on either side.  There was so much to look at!  From the bottom of the Vatican to the top of the city, a few of us paid a few Euro to climb hundreds of sloping steps to the very top of the Vatican Dome overlooking the city.  I don't feel so bad that I still get lost here because from above, the city still looks so big and confusing!  I took a picture of Vatican city from above and realized it is exactly identical to the picture that is on the face of my credit card!  How cool!  The rest of the afternoon a few of us relaxed and ate some lunch in the warm sun, observing some skateboarders and happened upon the "Piazza Navona (supposedly the most beautiful Piazza in Rome)--filled with artisans and fountains.  After grabbing some gelato, we headed to class.  Fridays we are supposed to do service, so Fr. Justin led our group past the colosseum to the Mother house of the Missionaries of Charity...the same house where Mother Teresa lived, worked, and eventually died.  We were able to see the room where she died in the house.  In there, nothing is touched since her death.  Even the calendar on the wall is still set on the date that she died.  We were also given the opportunity to pray in the chapel she prayed in, and we were able to talk with Sister Alaina, who personally knew Mother Teresa for 20 years until her death, about stories of her life and mission.  The whole time I couldn't take my eyes or attention off of Sister Alaina.  Sitting in the same room as Mother Teresa prayed and attended mass in, and speaking to a close friend of hers was indescribable and quickly became my favorite part of my Rome adventure so far.  It was so cool to hear about Mother Teresa and her love for chocolate, her mischievous but loving side, and her relationship with Pope John Paul II.  When asked what was a piece of advice Mother would say to her, Sister Alaina replied, "Give to God what he takes, and take from God what he gives."

Mother Teresa's bed where she died

Afterwards, the whole group went out to dinner and shared some great wine, pasta, and conversation.  A few of us were feeling adventurous and walked to a nearby Irish pub, "Scholars" to get some beer and be in a lively atmosphere!  After a long walk home my body collapsed from the busy yet incredibly fufilling day.

The Catacombs

Thursday (2/7)
After class and shopping around a little bit, our "Church and Culture" class met to take the bus over to the Catacombs of Priscilla.  The public transportation alone was an adventure in itself!  Only half of our group fit on the bus, and we were literally squished standing with a person up on every inch of you.  In fact, we were so squished up against the door that when the bus stopped and the door opened, we broke one of the doors because we couldn't move out of the way; and yet, 2 italian men thought they would still try to squeeze in!  The teacher wasn't with us because she was with the other half of the group, so we had to guess which stop to get off on and wait for the rest of the group.  As soon as we met up, we had to get on another  bus to make it the rest of the way!  The catacombs themselves were dark and damp and really cool.  You could see the dugouts in the wall where they placed the bodies, and even some tiny bone fragments.  We also saw original frescos that artists would paint down there that told the story of salvation and life.  The most transformative painting was the first ever recorded painting of the Madonna and Child painted next to one of the tombs, thousands of years old.  We were left to fend for ourselves to get back to Bernardi and lone behold, we took the tram going the wrong direction, the group got split up, and we had to get off at an unknown location.  But we all worked together and made it back safely to campus!  The girls met with the Sisters for our weekly formation.  We talked about being flexible and open to the new life God is giving you here.  I received a card that said, "Learn from St. Therese to depend on God alone and serve him with a wholly pure and detached heart.  Then, like her, you will be able to say: 'I do not regret that I have given myself up to love.'" ~St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross.  To continue the girls night, we went out to dinner, grabbed some gelato, and started a much-needed massage train in our hallway :)

Papa Bene

(Wednesday 2/6)

Pope Benedict XVI

This morning we walked briskly in our skirts and dresses to St. Peters to grab good seats for an exclusive Papal Audience which takes place in an auditorium next to St. Peters.  We were told that when our group name is announced it is customary to give a cheer, wave, or song.  We decided we were going to sing the "Salve Regina", which is a song very dear to the Pope.  I didn't know it yet and it is all in Latin so I spent the next couple of hours trying to learn it, only to find out 10 minutes before it started that it was too long and we were going to be singing "Immaculate Mary" instead.  Oh well.  I was seated right on the Aisle and there was great suspense in the room to see if the Pope was going to walk down the Aisle or come in from the stage.  Crowds of school children were having a "cheer off" and screaming to each other "Viva Papa! (Long live the Pope!)"  It was very cute and inspiring to see people from every language all here to see the shepherd, the one Jesus has chosen to lead his church during this time.  The room was filled with a sense of hope.  When Papa Bene walked on stage waving the room erupted into cheers.  To be in the presence of such a holy man filled me with a sense of great humility.  He spoke a message to each one of us presented there in about 8 different languages. Sometimes the groups would start singing while he was trying to speak but instead of getting annoyed, he waved at them with a gracious smile on his face as if he has never heard any of it before. He then led us all in prayer.  It was wonderful and I look forward to seeing him more this semester!

Head of John the Baptist

   After class, on the way back we stopped in a couple of churches (that looked just like a wall with a gate on the outside).  One of them was the most beautiful one I've seen so far, "Isanti Apostoles".  it was filled with glass chandeliers and oil paintings with gold trim.  In front of the Altar there were stairs leading down into a tomb where the Apostles who followed Jesus, James the Lesser and Philip, are buried.  The 2nd church we went in held the head (skull) of John the Baptist.  This one really hit me to be so close to a man who prepared the way for Jesus...and it is right on the walk back to our home!  How spectacular, that there are numerous opportunities for close encounters with Christ here.  Also on the walk back we walked through the Piazza Del Popolo where Carnvial festivities are taking place!  I can't wait to see when they are having more events.

The Walking Kicks In

St. Charles Borromeo's Heart

(Tuesday 2/5) This morning my body finally took into account how many miles I've been walking everyday....ow.  But the best remedy is to power-through and enjoy every part of the experience so I wasn't about to let a few sore muscles keep me from walking to St. Peters for morning mass.  We celebrated it in one of the gorgeous side chapels of the Vatican.  The whole mass was in Italian but the cool thing about the Catholic mass is that it's universal so I was able to follow along.  After mass we walked to the Angelicum for class.  I didn't know if it was correct etiquette to bring your tea/coffee cups into class with you, but when the lady at the 'bar' wasn't looking I grabbed the tea pot and my tea cup and headed to Italian.  In between classes, we walked to the Spanish steps where tricky vendors gave us flowers and made us believe they were free (but of course, they wanted the guys to pay for us "beautiful bellas"...darn.)  After class we walked into a church that held the heart of St. Charles Borromeo in it.  That night, many of us girls decided to grab stuff from the market and make dinner in the Bernardi kitchen.  It was a blast!  We prepared Tuscany Soup (recipe via Olive Garden) and salad while singing along to disney songs and enjoying each others company.

Welcome to School!

Arriving at school!

lounging in between class at the Ang.

Garden at the Angelicum

This morning (Monday), Thanos, our program director, thought it would be fun that instead of leading our whole group over to the Angelicum (where we take our classes), he would split us up in groups and we have to try to find the way ourselves.  It's 2 miles away of walking, with multiple routes, and this is the first time we were "unleashed" into the city by ourselves so....good luck!  Amidst power walking and trying to read invisible street signs, I didn't have much time to pay attention to the shops and beautiful buildings around me.  But I did notice on our walk that we were able to pass the Spanish Steps, the church that holds St. Borromeo's heart, the  Trevi Fountain, the main shopping strip, Piazza De Popolo, St. Peters Square, and other beautiful monuments.  Just imagine, I get to walk this route to and from school everyday!  Our group ended up getting there first and I was awed by how beautiful the school is.  First, there are courtyards in the middle of the school complete with fountains, orange and lemon trees, benches, and sun shining through the roofless estate.  Thanos treated us to caffe at the "bar" next to our classroom and showed us the garden we can study in during our free time.

We had a couple of hours before class started and a few of us went to visit the "Wedding Cake" building as we call it (it's really the fancy schmancy tomb of the unknown soldier) because it's so ornate and extravagant and white.  We were able to get up on top and view the whole city!  We discovered the Colosseum was only a couple of blocks away from our school!  It was so great to get some fresh air and get out into the city.

Wedding Cake (tomb)

We jumped right into our Art History class and it was so cool that our professor would say "oh and this is about 100 yards away from here..." instead of looking at these amazing artworks and dismissing them as far away somewhere in Europe.  It makes me want to go out and see these amazing works that are right outside my door!

View of City, Angelicum/Colosseum

My friends and I were on a mission that night to eat at an authentic Italian restaurant FINALLY.  We didn't have to work very hard to try to figure out Italian because our waiter picked us out right away and translated the whole menu for us, which will be very helpful for ordering in the future.  We each had different plates and shared, drank wonderful white wine, and even had cheescake!  Since we were sitting outside on the street, vendors kept coming up to us trying to sell us things and would run away when the manager poked his head out of the restaraunt.  It was wonderful to finally have a night of freedom, a true Italian hot meal, and share laughter at how far we have to go to truly understand the Italian culture.

When in Rome...

"When in Minnesota, do what the Minnesotans do" started sitting on the runway in the airplane, where frigid temperatures and a spontaneous blizzard caused the engine to fail, the fuel to deplete, and trucks to come to de-ice the plane.  This made me only more anxious to fly away!  After 3 hours, we finally departed behind schedule to Amsterdam.  Luckily, we had a long layover scheduled so we had just enough time to go through quick security (where I happened to be a popular suspect as I was searched thoroughly and asked numerous questions...."no officer, that's just water I swear"), and walk right through the gate onto the next plane.  Unfortunately, I hadn't really slept on either plane ride so the bus ride over to Bernardi Campus in Rome--where I was supposed to be enjoying the view--turned into a 30 minute snooz.  

The afternoon was filled with orientation activities, mass and dinner.  I had just showered and was in my PJ's and was ready to crawl into bed, but I couldn't resist when a few girls asked me to go for a walk around the neighborhood and get a first taste of Gelato!  That was the first time I realized I didn't know any Italian.  But luckily, body language can go a long way and soon I was devouring a carmel delight!  It wasn't until 30 minutes into our walk that we realized the 7 of us were just "tagging along" and had no idea where we were going.  It was during our back tracking that I began to realize that I was not in Minnesota anymore.  I learned some important things:

1) All the cars here are mini but it doesn't make them any less frightening.  Around the big Piazza they drive fast, there are no lanes, they don't signal, and if you look at a car, they assume you see them and are giving them permission to go forward. I had more confidence about crossing, though, when I saw a dad with a baby stroller just book it across the street without looking.

2) Our "Minnesota nice" ways of smiling at passerby's has quite a bit of different connotation here.  It could mean either you're 'coming on' to them...or, you're another one of those weird people who may not be mentally healthy... 

3) Not very important, but the trees here even look different--they look like broccoli.  And they have palm trees!  

Outside of the Vatican (click to enlarge)

Inside of the Vatican (I'll take a better pic)

The next morning we had more orientation until 4pm, and then we took our first walk over to St. Peters square to see the Vatican.  I'm sure I'll be adding better pictures later, but it was pretty to see the Vatican with the pink sky and with the Christmas nativity and lights still up in the square.  We were told to keep our heads down and then look up once we entered the center of the Vatican so we could take it all in with our first glance.  My first glance left me speechless.  It is so beautiful and every inch of that place is filled with statues and figurines of holy people I hadn't even heard of.  One fact that Fr. Justin (who is our chaplain) told us, was the Vatican is built so that when you walk in, you don't feel as small as you should compared to how big the Vatican really is.  This is because of its architecture.  The pillars you see surrounding the Vatican are HUGE and make you feel really small, but if these were used to hold up the Vatican and give us that same feeling, they would need to use TONS of those big pillars to fill the place!  In reality, a human can fit in the letter "O" in the words written on the tops of the walls!

We were able to enjoy our first community night dinner complete with pasta, pork, salad, potatoes, birthday cake, and wine!  I'm not sure if I believe that Americans are the only ones who eat alot...