(3/13) This morning I awoke with the plan that when our whole group was together in the square tonight, there would be a pope. I made up my mind that it would be perfect timing: It was an evening when we didn’t have class, it was right before going out of town for the weekend, and it was the couple of hours we would all be in the square that night. Of course I knew the Holy Spirit was in charge of these things, but I also had this unwavering confident hope that God knew how much I wanted to be there, and so I trusted the inclination inside of me. Still, after not feeling very well all afternoon, the thought crossed my mind that I didn’t want to go stand out in the square in the rain. But quickly I recovered and labeled that as a passing thought trying to get me not to go precisely because something amazing was about to happen.
I
left my aches behind me and trotted through the rain to get to St. Peters. When we arrived at about 5:30pm, there
were already 100s of umbrellas crowding around in various clumps along the
square. . We met up with the
Chaplaincy and Fr. Carolla and Fr. Justin in the back left hand of the
square. I met an enthusiastic
couple from Texas who ended up joining us in prayer. We opened our briveries and began to pray evening prayer
together and then the rosary. We
faced the screen as we prayed and tried to ignore the various media
photographers taking our pictures.
When it was over we moved our group up a little closer near the abalisk.
As more people filled in the square the excitement and anticipation began to
rise and there were more frequent glances being tossed at the screen. A seagull found a happy place sitting
on top of the smoke chimney, perhaps even eavesdropping on the voting Cardinals. A couple of the Seminarians had snuck a
flag pole through security, and placed a huge American flag on it as well as a
smaller papal flag and passed the time waving it around. While we were standing
around a few of us were getting interviewed by various news stations. Me and a few others were interviewed by
EWTN. They asked us easy questions
like where we were from, why we were in Rome, what was our favorite thing about
Rome, were we excited, etc. I talked
to the camera guy for a minute after and found out that he used to work with
Jeff Cavins and he had been out in Rome filming the last election, as well as
the mass for priests last year. A
reporter from another news station also asked us how we were feeling right
then. In unison we all
enthusiastically shouted, “CATHOLIC!”
Not quite the response he was expecting, he wandered off.
We
waited and waited, and finally at 7:05pm white smoke started billowing out of
the chimney. I caught a glimpse of
it on the screen the same time the crowd gasped and people started chattering,
“It’s white! Oh my gosh! Wait, no it’s black! No it’s definitely white!” Immediately I pulled out my camera to
try to film it, but I saw Nic grab Katie and run forward and voices behind me
saying, “go go go! Move
forward! This is it!” I had my umbrella in one hand and my
camera in the other as I was pushed forward in a blind sprint towards the
Vatican. I held the umbrella up as
high as I could to try to avoid hitting people and their umbrellas, but I just
kept getting hit and shoved and I pressed on forward. Nic was leading the way and there was a brief moment when he
stopped to let a couple of little kids through so as to not trample them.
Finally, we slowed to a stop towards front/middle and the chaotic screams broke
through the air! It was an
explosion of sound and smiles and jumping up and down in the cold falling
rain. People were shouting, “We
have a Pope! Habemus Papam!” Or
even, “We got ‘em baby!” The white smoke continued to pour out of the chimney
in a steady billow as we struggled to catch our breath through our pounding
hearts and excited screams. Our
American flag swooped over our heads to show how proud we were to be here
representing America. We
definitely were the craziest among the crowd and continued to hug each other
and scream and jump up and down.
After we were done screaming we met a couple of guys by us who were from
Pennsylvania and were studying business in Rome. He talked with our group as a ABC New York news lady with a
camera stationed herself in front of us. Along with interviewing us, she wanted
to film our reactions as the new Pope walked out. We asked her if she was
Catholic and she said “it’s complicated.”
One of our girls smiled and said, “What a perfect place to be then.” While another said, “Oh don’t worry,
you will be by the end of the night.”
We
waited and some cheers were chanted and songs were sung. There were so many different people
around us gathered from all different backgrounds including other students who
were here studying, clueless and not so clueless media reporters, both kids and
elderly, and even a guy who proclaimed himself as a “Jewish Athiest.” Whatever their backgrounds, I was sure
that each of them (including me) was called to that square for a reason. Even if they don’t realize it at this
point, the Lord was planting a seed inside of them by showing them the
unmistakable joy and unity that is present in their home inside the universal
church. Just as I told the news
reporter that we were all there for a reason and we have a responsibility to be
witnesses to the truth; to tell our loved ones about this experience back
home.
Finally
at 8:20pm, 3 figures came out and announced, “Habemus Papam! (We have a
Pope!)” It was now official. We
screamed and screamed! We waited
longer and they came and rolled out a red carpet and hung a curtain over the
banner. People were saying the
pope was from Italy, than I heard Brazil, and then I heard Argentina. Finally, the curtains opened and the
pope in white emerged. I looked on
the screen and the first thing I noticed was his dark-tinted glasses and his
calm expression. Although I didn’t
know how to interpret this at first, I realize later that as a humble man, his
experience must have been one of being a shepard looking out at his sheep (all
screaming wildly), and really accepting us as the people he was now called to
serve. I didn’t know how I was feeling until he started to speak. He stood tall (a contrast to the last
two popes who I saw near the end of their papacy when they were weaker) and
confident. His voice was clear and
he made big welcoming gestures with his hands. His first words were talking about how the cardinals had to
go to the ends of the earth to find a new pope, and here he is! People started laughing in glee.
Matthew next to me said, “We have a funny pope! Yes!” He then asked us to pray for Pope Benedict… here is the
original text of the speech:
Brothers and sisters, good evening! You know that it was
the duty of the Conclave to give Rome a Bishop. It seems that my brother
Cardinals have gone to the ends of the earth to get one... but here we are... I
thank you for your welcome. The diocesan community of Rome now has its Bishop.
Thank you! And first of all, I would like to offer a prayer for our Bishop
Emeritus, Benedict XVI. Let us pray together for him, that the Lord may bless
him and that Our Lady may keep him. (Our Father... Hail Mary... Glory Be... ) And
now, we take up this journey: Bishop and People. This journey of the Church of
Rome which presides in charity over all the Churches. A journey of fraternity,
of love, of trust among us. Let us always pray for one another. Let us pray for
the whole world, that there may be a great spirit of fraternity. It is my hope
for you that this journey of the Church, which we start today, and in which my
Cardinal Vicar, here present, will assist me, will be fruitful for the
evangelization of this most beautiful city. And now I would like to give the
blessing, but first — first I ask a favor of you: before the Bishop blesses his
people, I ask you to pray to the Lord that he will bless me: the prayer of the
people asking the blessing for their Bishop. Let us make, in silence, this
prayer: your prayer over me. Now I will give the Blessing to you and to the
whole world, to all men and women of good will. (Blessing). Brothers and
sisters, I leave you now. Thank you for your welcome. Pray for me and until we
meet again. We will see each other soon. Tomorrow I wish to go and pray to Our
Lady, that she may watch over all of Rome. Good night and sleep well!
I
remember thinking that I wish I could understand what he was saying, (the whole
speech was in Italian). But I
caught a few words of people around me translating some of it. During the silence while we were
praying for him, the once roaring crowd was completely silence. You could tell everyone in the world
was praying for him at that moment.
All I knew about him I learned quickly on the way back: He was 76, he was a Jesuit he is the
first to take on the name Francis (which is a bold move), he named himself not
after St. Franics Xavier who is a Jesuit but after St. Francis of Assisi—which
explains how he is a simple man and works a lot with the poor (he doesn’t own a
car and just walks around with a bag (the little sisters of the lamb told us
this when we ran into them in the square afterwards)). He seemed to me to be very humble, very
inviting, very simple, and very prepared for the role. He was looking out on us as if he
accepted us and was ready to put us, the sheep, up on his shephard shoulders. I found myself in love with him
already! This was going to be the pope, godwilling, who I would invest a great
deal of my life in. He may be the
pope I would one day teach my kids about.
I was excited to read more about him and his works. I just wanted to get to know him!
I
remember the interviewer interviewed me and Emily because we were tearing
up. My heart just felt soo filled
with joy and excitement I couldn’t even contain. My eyes were welling up and I had no idea what words I would
use to describe this moment. But
the holy spirit spoke through me and I was able to tell the reporter exactly
how blessed I felt and how loved we were in the square. I don’t remember all that I said, but I
do remember telling the TommieMedia news reporter later that I believe that we
each have a responsibility to be witnesses to it, to our experiences, and to
the truth. Each of us there received tremendous grace to be able to see with
such clarity the church as it stands today, in all it’s beauty and splendor.
This is not some abstract spiritual moment, this is really a joyous reality
that is happening here. I tried to express the truth of how I felt and I saw
the lady’s attentive eyes grow watery.
After she had finished she said that this was truly an amazing
experience and she was happy to have experienced it with us. I could tell she was going to walk out
of that square changed because she had sensed that this was not just ordinary
excitement, but something truly deep and truly joyful and meaningful. She even reached over and gave Emily
and I Italian goodbye greetings: kisses on our cheeks. I held her arm and said, “I hope you
come back home to the church.” She
thanked me and disappeared into the crowd. We stood a bit longer as people began to disperse and Fr.
Justin told us a bit about our new pope.
I kept hugging Katie and Sarah, still not able to contain my glee. Squeezing our way through the crowd
everyone seemed to be filled with joy.
A bad analogy is it was like leaving the best sporting event of your
life when your sports team won, cheering with your new friends who were once
strangers outside the stadium, except this transcended all of that. The street out was a sea of people and
I couldn’t help but skip down the cobblestones. The rain had stopped as soon as we had gathered at the front
awaiting the pope and now it was just a beautiful lit up city. Sarah and I walked arm and arm past our
favorite bakery when a lady hopped up to us with her donut bag in hand and
cheerfully asked, “do you ladies know where you’re going?” We said yes. She said, “Are you going to St. Peter’s?” We told her we were coming from
there. And she said “Oh, is it
over? Are you sure he’s not going
to come out again for the rest of the night? Where is St. Peters exactly?” We told her there may be people there and pointed her the
right direction. We said God bless
you and she turned to us and grabbed us enthusiastically and said, “YOU TOO!” We smiled but were surprised at how even
though this felt like the biggest event of our lives, there were still people
that didn’t know what was happening right in front of them. When we got back we
had our community dinner set up for us. By that time we were starving! We excitedly chatted and ate and talked
all about what we had just experienced.
After dinner we had night prayer and we were too excited to fall
asleep. Our whole floor was
skyping their friends and family about their experience and I was looking at
the pictures and videos I took.
Crawling into bed after 1am I tried unsuccessfully to quiet my mind from
the incredible blessing that carried my day and every day since then. Viva la Papa Francesco!
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