Community Dinner Delights

(3/6) Our Italian teacher took us to get Gelato during class so we could practice our Italian ordering skills.  Unfortunately, I gave up Gelato, so I had to take note of the best flavors to have after Easter.  It was rainy yet again and we made the trek back to Bernardi to get ready for community night.  There were opportunities for confession, adoration and mass.  After mass we had an interesting discussion about an article on whether people should wait to have later marriages. At dinner I got very lucky and was able to sit next to 6 year old Hannah, Dr. Rota's daughter.  We raved over our now favorite Bernardi meal: baked eggplant, creamy rice, crusted potato with melted cheese, chicken, vegetable salad, and cake topped with fruit for dessert.  I was able to yell over the table and have a good conversation with one of the NAAC seminarians, Dale, who explained to me the reasoning behind doing a Marian consecration, and the importance of Mary in general.  He explained with passion about Christ becoming incarnate specifically through her, showing that Mary is so tied with her son that she is virtually transparent and so we can go to her to get to Christ.  She is also more relatable than Jesus, who was the Son of God after all, and by drawing close to her and following her steps, we are following in the footsteps of Christ.  I was excited to continue my consecration to her and take her on into my heart, so she can more fully lead my hear to her Son, Jesus.
   We ended the night with a praise and worship song by Nic and the new Bernardi Guitar, "Bernadette" and I began on editing the documentary I made of our camp out at St. Peters the previous week before the audience.

Pasta with the Sisters

Pieta

(3/5) The morning started off terrifically.  I had borrowed a book that Fr. Murray had presented in class called "The Pieta".  It is a book that shows a series of photographs from all angles of Michael Angelo's Pieta, considered one of the greatest works of all time.  The statue is held in St. Peters and after hearing the theological significance of it from Dr. Lev, I knew I wanted to know more about it.  All I can say is, The Pieta is so brilliantly made, so realistic in portraying not only the physical details of a real human being, but capturing the contemplative state of Jesus and Mary, that there is no question that there had to have been some divine intervention in the making of the statue.  No other work of art makes you feel like you are actually staring at the real body of Jesus, with every muscle and every vein down to the folds of flesh over the nail marks in his hand.  Or at Mary, with the peaceful and contemplative textured face, hands wide in offering him to us as her son drapes over her lap.  Just look at this book in prayer and I know you will be changed.

The book!

   The rest of the morning went along with the routine.  On the way back from class I got separated from the group but made it back safely!  This Sisters who lead our formation invited us over for dinner, so we walked 30 minutes on the other side of the river over to their apartment.  We were able to see their chapel and have formation on the topic of growing in maturity of heart.  Then we split up into different "cooking" groups around the apartment: Rice, Pasta Carbonara, Salad and Tiramisu.  I was in the Bruschetta group.  An hour later our mouths were watering from all of the smells of the food and the 24 of us sat down to enjoy our home cooked meal.  It was so tasty and we got to meet a few of the other sisters.  It was such a fun evening and we didn't get back until late at night.

Jar of Sacrifices

(3/3)  Today I decided to go to mass at a place that was only a 10 minute walk, Cristo Rey.  It wasn't at all what I expected:  There was a huge plain painting of Jesus in pastel colors above the altar, the music was sung by a latino/mariachi band and all of the kids sat up front by the altar.  Communion was hectic and the procession kind of got lost in the crowd, but Mass is Mass and I was happy to not have to walk very far!  Sunday was homework day but I was lucky to be able to do most of it up on the terrace in the bright and warm sun.  I can't wait until it gets warm enough for me to be up there for more than 20 minutes!  We had dinner provided for us and after, I had some roomie time with Anna.  We had decided that it was hard to really get  into Lent this year, especially being in Rome and wanting to experience so much.  So we decided to make a "daily Lenten sacrifice" jar.  We wrote little offerings we could do every day and put them in a box for us to draw from each morning.  They included things such as: "Sleep without your pillow tonight and pray for those who don't have homes", or "Try not to talk about yourself today unless someone asks you," or "Give some money or food to a homeless person today", accompanied by a bible verse or reflection.  I was excited to be able to focus on one thing daily (along with whatever  Lenten sacrifice I made at the beginning of lent), even if it was a couple of weeks in!

Siena!

Il Campo

 (3/2)  At 7 am, 45 of us piled onto a large bus parked on the skinny street outside Bernardi.  The bus was filled with anxious chatter about who was going to be the first one to get sick on the winding roads leading up to and from Siena.  Knowing I usually experience motion sickness, I was not a happy camper.  But luckily, the conversation changed when the bus started and we began our adventure praying the office of prayers, morning prayer, and heard a brief biography about St. Catherine of Siena who I was excited to learn more about.  3 hours later and after a rest stop at a place conveniently structured literally as a bridge over the highway, we arrived at an Assisi-like peaceful city.   We headed over to a huge brick church called the Church of San Domenico.  Inside held the head of Catherine of Siena.  To be honest, it looked kind of creepy.  Seeing a skull with a habit on inside some bared cells was not really the saint-like portrayal I was expecting.  Afterwards, we headed up and down some steep streets with amazing views of the town over to the Basilica of St. Catherine of Siena.  Inside was an absolutely huge square room with huge stained glass windows.  It felt like I was walking a mile in this big open space before our group slipped into a small side chapel.  We were told of the Eucharistic Miracle that happened in August of 1730:

Tuscan view

   During the devotions for the Vigil of the feast of the Assumption of Mary, thieves snuck in the Church of St. Francis and stole the silver Ciborium that held the hosts. When discovered, this forced the cancellation of the traditional festivities for the feast of Our Lady's Assumption. Two days later, a priest's attention was directed to something white protruding from the offering box attached to his prie dieu. When the offering box was opened, a large number of Hosts were found, some of them suspended by cobwebs. The Hosts were compared with some unconsecrated ones used in the Church of St. Francis, and proved to be exactly the same size and to have the same mark of the irons upon which they were baked. The number of Hosts corresponded exactly to the number the Franciscan friars had estimated were in the ciborium. To the amazement of the clergy, the Hosts did not deteriorate, but remained fresh and even retained a pleasant scent. With the passage of time the Conventual Franciscans became convinced that they were witnessing a continuing miracle of preservation. It was concluded that the stolen Hosts had been both prepared without scientific precautions and kept under ordinary conditions which should have caused their decay more than a century before. The commission concluded that the preservation was extraordinary. By this miracle the Hosts have remained whole and shiny, and have maintained the characteristic scent of unleavened bread. Since they are in such a perfect state of conservation, maintaining the appearances of bread, the Catholic Church assures us that although they were consecrated in the year 1730, these Eucharistic Hosts are still really and truly the Body of Christ. The miraculous Hosts have been cherished and venerated in the Basilica of St. Francis in Siena for over 250 years.
   To our amazement, we were able to each privately go before the hosts of the eucharistic miracle and pray.  It was an incredible and intimate experience.

Duomo

Piccolomini Library

   We stopped and had a picnic lunch in the middle of "Il Campo", considered the best square in Italy.   After that we had some free time so a few of us went to the big Duomo Museum and climbed up to the tower to see the amazing Tuscan view.  All of the buildings here looked uniform: log roofs and brown brick exterior, but surrounded by green landscape and the protruding mountains in the distance, it was an amazing site.  Our second to last destination in Siena led us to the Duomo Cathedral which is the most amazing church I've been to yet! Covered in zebra stripes on the outside, the inside is filled with sites to behold, taking at least 30 minutes to walk around.  The ceilings were covered in stars and surrounded by sculptures of all of the Pope's heads, the floors were covered in famous mosaics, there were statues by Michelangelo and Bernini, we got to see the famous pulpit that we learned about in Dr. Lev's class, our lady of vows chapel, and probably most amazing: The piccolomini library.  The library was brilliantly frescoed on every inch and held intricately decorated music scores and a statue of the Three Graces.   Finally, we left and headed to the home of St. Catherine of Siena.  It is a lovely open place with flowers, a courtyard, kitchen, and crucifix upon which Catherine was meditating when she received the stigmata.  Before mass I happened upon her room which was covered in paintings of her life and includes her bare cell where she lived for years.  After celebrating mass in her home, we boarded the bus for Tuscany.
   1.5 hours winding through the beautiful green hills of Tuscany under the setting sun was a sight to behold.  Upon arriving, we walked a ways in the wind and deep into the woods to find an abandoned bathroom hut.  As the night became dark the stars came out and we sat by the Norbertine's monastery and ate our dinner.  It was peaceful being in the middle of nowhere in a place where monks pray and villagers from the hillside live in peace.  We entered the cold stone church (not ornate) at 7:30pm as the Norbertine's entered in wearing their white robes with pointed hoods.  The Norbertine's are known for their beautiful voices and chant in prayer for hours everyday.  The lifting of their beautiful voices echoed in unison across the stone walls and added a spirit of warmth to the room.  It was beautiful just to enter into that tranquility even if I couldn't follow along.  At around 8pm we wandered back to the bus and as we headed home, I fell into a deep deep dramamine-filled sleep until we arrived back at Bernardi at 11pm.

Run around the river

(3/1)  March means the beginning of Spring, which means it's time to go for runs outside!  I wasn't sure how my body was going to take it, considering I hadn't run in a month, but thankfully, walking 5 miles everyday kept me partly in the groove and I took off down the river!  I had checked my route multiple times before I left, ensuring that each bend and curve of the confusing Roman streets was accounted for.  The fresh air was chilly but felt refreshing and a couple miles felt like a breeze.  I past by a farmers market on the Settembrini road right by Bernardi and made a note to stop by later.  The camera crew was interviewing my roommate Anna in our room, so after a quick shower, Sarah and I headed over to the market.  We were excited to find rows of fresh fruits and veggies, bread, cheap clothing, kitchen supplies, and other random items.  We picked our way through what we needed and made a note to find out when this market is available during the week.  We were excited to find out it is a daily thing and it was by shear luck that we didn't find out about it until now!  The rest of the afternoon was filled with a delicious stirfry made from our fresh veggies, skyping, prayer, and trying to juggle with Thanos (our program director) the Italian alternative to American medication by comparing the labels....tough work!  All in all, a productive and relaxing Friday to start the weekend out right.

This little light of mine

Taken from the media

(2/28)  My roommate and I have decided to make Thursdays our "explore Rome" Thursdays.  Since we have class all day during the week and we travel on weekends, we decided that after our 1 morning class on Thursdays we'd pick a site and run with it.  We decided to check out the Pantheon and find the highly recommended by past Bernardians "Da Francescas" trattoria to eat lunch.  We felt adventurous and confident that we could find it without using a map.  We were wrong.  After getting turned around multiple times, we caved in and bought a handy picture map.  After getting lost a few times even with the map, we managed to find it.  I have to say I wasn't too impressed.  Yes, I am glad I saw it and I enjoyed some of the history behind it, but after seeing so many incredible churches, this seemed like a loud, touristy place to be.  After looking around it, we decided to head off and find the restaraunt.  We were content with wandering around for a little while, until hunger hit us like a brick to the stomach and we felt desperate enough to give up our search and climb into a little no-name side street trattoria.  It turned out to be the best decision ever!  We were able to sit outside on cute checkerboard tables and received actual soft bread for the first time.  What excited me the most was a whole menu of Salads!  My stomach needed a break from all the pasta and pizza and me being a daily salad eater back home, was craving fresh veggies.  I don't know if it was because I was so hungry or because my body really needed some R&R from carbs, but I spent the rest of the morning raving about how good the salad was: Fresh spinach, warm eggs and bacon, fresh mozzarella, fresh-picked vegetables, and savory olive oil and vinegar dressing.  Fully satisfied, we stopped for groceries on our way back.
   We held a make-up class for Dr. Rota in the basement of our house, but took a break at 5:00pm to head up to the top of our terrace where we could hear the bells ringing as the Pope left.  We were delightfully surprised when, at 5:05, distant bells from the Vatican rung and we saw a helicopter hovering over the dome shortly in the distance.  "Is that him?"  We all wondered.  Suddenly, in the clear pink sky, we saw a larger white helicopter rise from the dome underneath the smaller helicopter and start to fly in our direction.  Some in our group were skeptical as to if it were the Pope since he was scheduled to leave 10 minutes later, but I knew in my heart that it was him (and we found out later it was).  We waved eagerly, jumping up and down as the helicopter flew past us and towards the colosseum, circling around Rome before landing at the place where he would stay forever away from the public eye: In Castle Gandolfo.  That was it.  That was our last goodbye to the Pope himself!

Media shot, Praying in the square

   We headed downstairs for a quick bite to eat before heading off to St. Peters to pray during his official final hour of his Papacy.  When we arrived at the square, there were the normal buzzing of people.  We gathered as a group along with our Chaplaincy and began to pray evening prayer.  Fr. Carolla read us the English translation of the beautiful message he had spoken to us at the audience the day before.  The line that stuck out to me most was this: "In our heart, in the heart of each of you, let there be always the joyous certainty that the Lord is near, that He does not abandon us, that He is near to us and that He surrounds us with His love."  As well as his reminder that he did not step off the cross, but continues to carry it as he continues his life of prayer and service for the Church in a different way.  We then began to light candles and pray the Rosary in the square.  Pilgrims began to gather around us. Some joined in, others watched in prayer, and others took pictures.  Looking around at the candle lit faces I saw tears, both of sadness at the loss and of joy at the new priest to come, the peace and trust of the holy spirit, and the love of every person surrounding me towards the church and each other.  Our voices lifted into the "Salve Regina" as others around us chimed in.  I remained on my knees in prayer as the clock struck 8 and the bells slowly rang and echoed across the city, signaling the sign that we no longer had a pope.  I could feel the presence of the media with their cameras surrounding me, taking pictures of me as I prayed, and I tried my best not to be distracted.  Finally, an God-send came to my rescue.  As I remained kneeling with my eyes closed, I could hear a stranger firmly whisper next to me, "Leave her alone.  Can't you see she's trying to pray?  Please, give her her space.  She is praying."  I was filled with emotion, both with embarrassment that my prayer was being filmed by the media (not because I was ashamed, but because I felt that my private moment with God was going to be twisted not into a moment of joy, but reflected out as a moment of sadness that I was somehow "abandoned by the pope"), and with graciousness that a stranger, who was really a part of my universal Catholic family, felt that my prayer should be protected.  I took a walk around the square with my burning candle and soaked in the various people in prayer, in chatter, in song and in silence.  All of us girls decided we wanted to go out and "celebrate" his Papacy and Catherine's 21st birthday, but as soon as we exited a lady from some media station thrust a microphone into Emily and my face.  She asked Emily why she felt it was important to come here tonight, and she asked me probably the only other question the media knows how to ask about the Pope resigning: "Do you think the Pope's stepping down has anything to do with all of the Church's scandals?"  I withheld an eye roll and gave an uber-catholic response that will probably never make the story.  Something about him being a man of prayer and realizing what the Church needs, his act of humility in stepping down, the Holy Spirit picking exactly what the church needs for these times, etc.

The Abbey Theater

  We carried on past the signs with the Pope's face that read, "resterai sempre con noi, Grazie (You will remain with us always, thank you" and over to the Irish Pub: the Abbey Theater.  All 14 of us grabbed a table in the back and chatted with our Irish waiter who had a crude but playful sense of humor.  We ordered drinks and devoured 2 plates of Nachos and chicken fingers, laughing and being loud American girls the whole night.  We stumbled home right before the gates closed and went to bed after an emotionally exhausting evening.

You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore: Camping out at St. Peters

Ready to go at 2:15 am!

 (2/27) Jack Black's "You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore" mantra was running through my head as I woke up at 2:00am thinking, "am I really going to do this?"  That line was repeated multiple times as a few of us women sauntered down the stares in a sleepy but excited daze.  We were going to do it.  We were going to camp out at St. Peters before our beloved Papa Bene's final public appearance.  The only thing keeping us walking through the unusually quiet streets was our stop at our favorite 24 hour bakery, Dolce Maniera.  The bakery was filled with on-duty Italian cops who had a long day in front of them, so we felt safe wandering in around 2:30am.  The moon was shining as we arrived at our destination over on the side of St. Peter's square by security, as the Little Sister of the Lamb suggested we do.  There were already about 20 people huddled in blankets around the columns.  We hunkered down and devoured our first round of baked goods, giggling and pulling out our blankets.  Although we were warm, the temperature slowly dropped to a chill the longer we sat on the hard cobblestones.  I curled up next to my friend for warmth as my friend Nic sang us a 'not-so-nice' Lullaby and we slowly waited for the crowd to trickle in.  Just before 6am, we were forced to move our camp up closer to the gates as the street became more and more crowded with visitors, some bearing some much-needed coffee.  We didn't know exactly where the gates were going to open 2 hours from now, but we devised a plan to get through the gates and keep our group together.  We formed a diagonal up to the gate, allowing no one to pass through (not even those sneaky little nuns!)  Talking to a couple of other Americans, we teamed together for space and listened as a group of young people started singing "hit the road jack" and songs from other languages to lighten up the crowd.  As the sun lifted, the crowd behind us became more and more packed and it became nearly impossible to move.  Suddenly, the gates beside us opened up unexpectedly, and I had just enough time to grab my backpack which I had set on the ground before I was moved forcefully along, barely touching the ground.  Miraculously, I ended up close up to the next gate entrance, near a few other Bernardians.  This is when things became a little more nerve raking as the more forceful crowd anxiously anticipated the security gates to open.  Wide-eyed volunteers and policemen looked nervous on the other end, not knowing how they were going to possibly control us.  As the gates opened (30 minutes early), I heard a huge roar of shouts as I was forcefully pushed against the guard rail.  I thrust my blanket in front of me to protect my abdonmen from the wood and I pushed as hard as I could against the crowd to enter through the narrow opening.  A lady yelled at me to make space for an elderly woman trying to get through, but there was just no room to move!  Pushing through the security I popped out into miraculous fresh air on the other side.  I was left alone so I briskly moved to scope out those who had made it through before me.  The square opened up into 20,000 seats and one by one, each of us found each other in the front of the second section.  Luckily, our seminarians were ushered to the very front and received front row views of the Vatican stage.  We had made it!  Taking a huge sigh of relief that the last 6 hours had paid off and we had a seat, we slumped down in our chairs and finished off our pastries.

St. Peter's Square

   As the crowd filled into the square, I had the chance to borrow my friend's really nice camera and telescope lens and spent the remaining hours focusing in on individual people in the massive crowd and taking artistic pictures.  This was actually my favorite part of my time in the square because I was able to see--out of this massive crowd of 300,000 people from all over the world; some holding signs, some singing, some smoking, old and young, short and tall--the beauty of the one thing that was bringing all of us here together: to see and support not only a man we have grown to love, but a Church and a God we love even more.  This was truly the World's biggest family.
   10:30 am the crowd ruptured into chants: "Be-ne-detto!" "Viva Papa Bene!"  And then a tremendous roar as the "pope mobile" rolled out of the side and started heading around the aisles.  I screamed with the crowd and stood on my chair as the Pope drove by.  Through the lens of my camera and the waving flags in front of me, I was able to catch the sheer and crisp witness of the Pope's garment, and the sophisticated yet gracefulness poise he had, hiding the hind of exhaustion present within the bend of his shoulders.  His arm remained raised and extended toward the crowd as he passed, and his face was fixed into a gentle smile.  As he passed, a couple of children were handed to him as he kissed them tenderly on the forehead like a father.  He processed around the square and finally up to the front of the stage to begin his speech.  The roaring crowd suddenly switched gears and became silent and sitting.  It was so quiet I forgot that I was surrounded by 300,00 or more people.  With eager enthusiasm we listened to him speak.  Benedict was thankful and lets the crowd know in Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, English, German and French. (I have to admit, in the warm sun and on 3 hours of sleep, I found myself dozing as he spoke in the other languages.  But it was only because I felt perfectly content! ;) )  As one from the camera crew following us described, "His words were scratchy and weak, but heartfelt and meaningful."  You can and should read the translation of what he said, here: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-202_162-57571558/pope-benedict-xvis-words-to-last-general-audience/

Waving at us as he passed by!

   As we waved goodbye, we sat in the square a few minutes longer to soak in the graces we all just experienced.  Some of us weaved our way out of the crowd to go back to Bernardi and catch up on some sleep.  I was eager to follow, figuring I could sacrifice going to my Italian class that afternoon, but I ran into some fellow classmates and was reluctant to say no to going to class.  So I gathered up what little energy I had left and headed off 45 minutes to the Angelicum.  We had just enough time to take a delightful 20 minute nap under the sun in the garden before class.  Trying to stay awake was very difficult and Italian seemed meaningless after seeing the Pope!  But I had to remind myself that my first and primary vocation is to be a student. After class we headed back to Bernardi to get ready for a long community night.
   Unfortunately, there was no room to look like a slob since the camera crew was going to be filming adoration, mass, and dinner tonight.  So I tried to muster looking awake in the warm chapel as we prayed together.  During our discussion before dinner, we were able to go around and speak about our favorite memories/quotes of our beloved Pope.  It was so inspiring to hear the negative reaction many held when he was selected as successor to the beloved Pope John Paul II, and how many were disappointed with his selection.  Then to hear how he led many of our seminarians along their journey to discernment and how his words spoke to each of us in times of trouble, giving us hope. We described what it felt like when we heard he was resigning just a day after we had seen him in the square, and the tremendous grace it is to be here at the selection of the new Pontiff, as well as the responsibility we each have now to be a witness to the truth for people back home. He is definitely going to be very missed.
   Also during the discussion, we had so much fun discovering an amazing analogy between the Papacy and Lord of the Rings:

   Apparantly, before Pope Benedict was Pope and he was Cardinal Ratzinger, Fr. Carolla was in Rome with Bernardi students.  He was able to talk to Cardinal Ratzinger after Mass one day, and mentioned that he felt like he had been born in the wrong time.  Ratzinger looked at him and said, "You were born exactly when you were meant to be born, to serve in this time."  Later that semester, Fr. Carolla was watching Lord of the Rings and came upon the scene where Gandalf says this exact thing to Frodo.  Hearing this, he thought that it was fitting that Cardinal Ratzinger (Gandalf the Grey), now clothed in white as Pope Benedict, became Gandalf the White, and Fr. Carolla was Frodo.  Better yet, Fr. Carolla wears a ring around his neck (which is his grandmothers).  Even more perfect, in the end of His journey in Lord of the Rings, Gandalf the white doesn't die, but sails off into the distance on a ship.  Similarly, Pope Benedict, very fittingly, steps down from his role as Pontiff and flies away on a helicopter to the island of Castle Gandolfo (Gandalf-o...get it?).  Isn't that nice?  Oh, and Fr. Justin is definitely Samwise Gamgee.  Now who is gollum....?
   After dinner we celebrated Catherine's birthday (what a wonderful day to have a birthday!)  And headed off to a now beautifully looking bed.